Lesson 1 – LOVE
“One of the best ways to improve your marriage is to draw a circle around yourself and work on changing everyone inside that circle!” -Mike & Laurie Sheffield (adapted from John McGee)
1. What has informed your view of love up to this point in your life (Your family, friends, Hollywood, the internet, etc)?
2. How would you describe your parents’ marriage? In what ways is yours similar? In what ways is your marriage different?
3. Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Which of the qualities of love, from this passage, do you struggle with the most?
Which qualities, from this passage, would say say your spouse exemplifies best?
4. Why is it difficult for you to love your spouse the way Christ loves you?
5. Read 1 John 4:7-21
Write down any insights into God’s love and how YOU should love your spouse.
6. Write your spouse a note today, thanking them for their willingness to work together on your marriage.
Lesson 2 – Brokenness
“I am my biggest marital problems!” – Paul David Tripp
1st Aired on Thursday, October 8th, 2020
Read Psalm 139:23 & 24
1. Reflect on which ways you have been:
Until we each acknowledge the brokenness in our own hearts and turn to the One who is ready and willing to help you, your relationship will remain broken.
Read John 15:5
2. How do you think your sins have impacted your marriage? Be specific.
3. Share with your spouse your answers from questions 1 & 2 above. *NOTE: When listening to your spouse share their answers, please do not provide any feedback other than thanking them for sharing.
Read Psalm 51
4. Write down any personal observations from Psalm 51.
5. Action Item for this week: Write a note, email or verbally encourage your spouse with three characteristics that you appreciate about them.
Lesson 3 – GRACE
“But God, is so rich in mercy; he loved us so much that even though we were spiritually dead and doomed by our sins, he gave us back our lives again[a] when he raised Christ from the dead—only by his undeserved favor have we ever been saved—” Ephesians 2:4-5 TLB
Your relationship with God is grounded in grace, and so must your relationship with your spouse! It’s the foundational pillar to any healthy relationship. On today’s show we talked about: What grace is, what grace is not, when grace is offensive and why engage with God?
We asked you to consider: Do you have a “works-based” marriage or a “grace-based marriage”?
- Can you recall a time when your spouse has been gracious to you? How did this make you feel?
- Is it harder for you to receive grace or give grace? Why do you think it is this way?
- Many couples operate on a merit-based system and often keep score. Why do you believe this is ultimately destructive for any relationship?
- Have you responded to The Truth of The Gospel and received God’s gift of grace? Do you believe you need it?
READ: Colossians 4:6
5. From your perspective, how gracious is your speech? How could you improve in this area?
Action Item: Our spouses will frustrate, hurt or disappoint us. Look for an opportunity to extend grace to them this week.
Questions Available – October 22, 2020
Lesson 4- Humility
“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.”-C.S. Lewis
1.) Is it difficult to show humility to your spouse? Why or why not?
2.)Humility In Marriage Can Look Like: serving your spouse, not having to be right, asking for forgiveness, studying your spouse, celebrating your spouses success, communicating kindly, putting your spouses need 1st. From this list, which areas could you most improve? Write down HOW you could improve, be specific.
3.)Ask your spouse to share 3 ways you can show humility or serve them. List your spouses answers.
Read: Philippians 2:1-18 and write down any observations you make.
*ACTION ITEM: This week, do some of the things that your spouse shared with you from question #3.
Lesson available on line-October 29, 2020
Lesson 5 Forgiveness
“The one who benefits the most from forgiveness is the one who grants it.”-Andy Stanley
1.)Today on the radio we talked about 5 explanations of what forgiveness is not. Which ones do you have a hard time applying? Why?
2.)Do you tend to replay the pain your spouse has caused you? How can replaying the pain your spouse has caused you be detrimental to your marriage?
3.)How has it been difficult to forgive your spouse?
4.)What fears do you have about extending forgiveness to your spouse?
Read: Matthew 18:21-35
5.)How are you demanding repayment from your spouse in the ways they have hurt you?
*ACTION ITEM: Pray Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” Then ask God to show you sins for which you need to ask for forgiveness. Write them down. This is the first step in setting new patterns for your relationship.
Lesson available here, on line.
Lesson 6 Forgiveness In Action
“One of marriages primary responsibilities is to teach us how to forgive.”-Gary Thomas
In todays lesson we’re going to do some self-examination and humbly ask our spouse for forgiveness. This lesson may take a little more time, so be sure to set aside enough time.
Forgiveness is difficult for many of us, and can take some practice. Don’t get discouraged…it takes time.
-This process can be pivotal in your marriage, as you begin the process of asking for and granting forgiveness.
Pray Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” Think about the ways you have hurt, disappointed, frustrated, or been untruthful with your spouse. Ask God to show you your sins for which you need to ask for forgiveness.
STEP 1: SEARCH YOUR HEART
STEP 2: CONFESS TO GOD
STEP:3 CONFESS TO YOUR SPOUSE
STEP 4: ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
STEP 5: GRANT FORGIVENESS
1.)What was most difficult about asking for forgiveness?
2.)What was the most difficult part about granting forgiveness?
3.)How can you begin to make forgiveness a regular practice in your marriage?
4.) Is there anything about the way you relate to your spouse that makes it difficult for them to confess issues to you and ask for forgiveness?
*ACTION ITEM: Is there anything else you need to confess to your spouse an ask for forgiveness? Pray and ask God to give you the courage to talk about this to your spouse.
*ACTION ITEM: Pick one of the areas for which you asked forgiveness and commit to change.
(If you find it difficult to do any of the above, find someone that is the same gender as you and ask them to hold you accountable and pray for you and your marriage.). Ideally this would be your small group leader or someone in your group, but as we are not able to meet in groups at this time, pray God will show you who this person should be.
Lesson available on line
“Commitment is daily reminding yourself of God’s commitment to you and that your spouse is a gift from God.”-Todd Wagner
1.)Would you describe your marriage more as a contract or an unconditional commitment? Why?
2.)Do you believe that you are under a contract with God or that He has made a covenant with you? Why?
3.)What doors are open or still unlocked in your marriage? What do you need to do to shut and lock those doors?
Read: Mark 10:1-12
4.) What do you think it means that God has joined a husband and wife together? Why does this matter?
*ACTION ITEM: Do something this week together that is a reminder of your wedding day. Look at pictures of your wedding, find the video and watch it. Try to remember your vows and say them to each other, or write what you wish they were.
*ACTION ITEM: Ask someone that knows you well, to share with you things they have seen you say or do that undermines your marriage. Don’t get defensive. Simple thank them for their willingness to share with you.
Lesson available on line-11-19, 2020
Lesson available on line-11 26, 2020
Lesson available on line-12 13, 2020
Lesson available on line-12 10 20
Lesson available on line-12 17 20
Main Idea: God calls you to live with your spouse in “an understanding way.” This means you will need to become a student of your spouse so that you can best love and celebrate them. Your relationship with your spouse is also tied to your relationship with God.