What’s Your Love Language?
We often don’t speak the same love language as our spouse…so I LOVE the idea of “Love Languages” By Author Gary Chapman.
Sometimes we can feel like our spouses are not doing a great job expressing their love for us in the way we recognize it, and this can leave us feeling neglected, disappointed or even angry.
Mowing the lawn and washing your wife’s car is not going to feel like anything special to the wife whose love language is gifts or words of affirmation for instance but coming from a man whose primary language is acts of service this is absolutely his way of screaming, “I LOVE YOU!!” So, to help each other recognize you are in need of something in your language…here’s an idea that could be fun!
Give each other a pad of brightly colored sticky notes. Make his blue and yours pink. Then commit to each other that you will simply put one out in a designated spot when either of you is in need of having your emotional needs met! It’s just a gentle reminder that you need your spouse to show you their love and commitment to you in YOUR love language!
For instance, my primary love language is words of affirmation, followed by gifts. If I just need to hear that I’m not a failure and I REALLY need to hear it from the man that I know loves me more than anyone else…I can slip one of my slips of paper on his dresser and hopefully in the next day or so Mike would respond by telling me something I did well, or that I am smart or beautiful…or SOMETHING!
Affirmation. Silly…maybe…helpful? YES!
How does your spouse normally try to love you? The way they love you is probably how they want to be loved…so pay attention in this area..
More than anything, I believe that it IS our hearts desire to nurture the intimacy we feel towards our spouses and by learning each other’s love language it can only help improve our ability to communicate and express that love that we have and to continue to grow together!
I bet you won’t have to put out too many notes…but knowing that you have a back-up code to express your love and commitment to each other could prove really helpful!
Even if you don’t have something special to celebrate this month…celebrate each other! It’s important to remind your spouse how much you treasure him/her…We ALL want to know we are adored!
Too much cologne or too many ties? Here are a few other fun ideas to say, “I Love you!”
Plan a surprise lunch at work
Bake their favorite cookies (don’t worry calories don’t count on Valentine’s day)
Take their car to be washed & detailed
Make dinner together for the 2 of you after the kids are in bed
Write the story of your relationship from your perspective in a journal
Work on changing a habit that your spouse has asked you to change
Call your spouse’s favorite radio stations and request a song you know they’d like when they’ll be in the car.
Read 5 Love Languages By Gary Chapman together